This is the first post in a series on Listening well as a person of privilege. If you’ve been energized by this series, I encourage you to be on the lookout for my book “The Priesthood of the Privileged” which I hope will be out at some point in 2014.
I’m doing a short series on listening well as a person of privilege[i] because I often encounter privileged people who sincerely desire to stand in solidarity with oppressed people but don’t really know how to go about it in an honoring way. As a result, their well-intentioned attempts to listen well often result in clumsy and oppressive interactions that counterproductively widen the divide between the privileged and oppressed. In order to honor the image of God in oppressed people, we need to think deeply about what it means to listen well as a person of privilege – hence, this series. I hope you’ll join in and share your thoughts.
As someone who identifies with both privileged (highly educated, upwardly-mobile) and oppressed (black, female) groups, I’ve experienced both ends of the privileged-oppressed spectrum. As a result, I’ve played the part of the privileged perpetrator of oppression as well as the oppressed target of oppression. And within the reconciliation context, I’ve often had to ask for grace and I’ve often had to give grace. These thoughts on listening well as a person of privilege are based on my experiences as a privileged person and an oppressed person.
Thought #1: Recognize that the rules are different for you.
One of my buddies recently graduated from Harvard. Like many young college grads, he is quite proud of his alma mater and naturally wants to place a “Harvard” bumper sticker on his car. However, one of our friends pointed out that if he does so, he will risk being perceived as a pompous jerk who flaunts his high end degree in the face of less fortunate drivers. In response, my friend cried “Foul!” pointing out the double-standard that allows alums of less prestigious schools to proudly display their bumper stickers but disallows Harvard grads from doing the same. I told him that it may not be fair but it’s the small price he pays for the privilege of attending such a prestigious school. I added that if he wants to build solidarity with people who haven’t been granted the same level of privilege, he should probably leave the bumper sticker off his car. By complaining about the double-standard, My friend made the mistake of thinking that he should be treated just like everyone else in the world, even though his privileged experience was unlike most everyone else’s. He failed to understand that the rules are different for people of privilege who want to engage with the rest of the world.
Despite the fact that privileged people have benefited from an unfair advantage in society, they are often preoccupied with being treated “fairly” in the context of reconciliation work. They believe that they have a right to be heard. They also believe they have the right to a clean slate; they don’t want past injustices (either individual or societal) to negatively affect the current reconciliation work. In addition, they believe that they have a right to be treated graciously; in other words, the oppressed person must refrain from sounding angry when expressing him or herself and must communicate in a way that is comforting to the privileged person[ii]. If any of these “rights” are violated, privileged people often bolt from the reconciliation context.
As persons of power, privileged people (unlike oppressed people) are typically afforded these rights. As such, it’s only natural for them to expect to receive these rights in the context of reconciliation work. But just because it is natural doesn’t make it helpful or right. Indeed, to insist on retaining these rights reveals a misunderstanding of both power dynamics[iii] and the upside-down reconciliation work of Jesus.
For an interaction between the privileged and the oppressed to serve as a step toward overcoming years of injustice, it must first reverse the unjust and unequal power dynamics that have long fueled divisions between the privileged and the oppressed. After years of inequality, reconciliation often requires more than the establishment of equal status between the two groups. A further step is needed – one that requires that the privileged folks relinquish their high status and adopt a humble position that elevates and honors the oppressed people at great cost to the privileged folks. In the new power structure, privileged folks are more interested in hearing from oppressed people than in exercising their own “right” to being heard. In the new power structure, privileged folks willingly dive into the messiness of reconciliation work rather than claiming a “right” to a clean slate or protection from anger.
For an excellent example of this self-sacrificial reversal of power, we need look no further than Jesus, who abdicated his “rights” in order to honor the image of God in oppressed people and build a bridge to them.
Phillipians 2:5-8
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
What would it look like for you to adopt Jesus’ humble stance in your interactions with the oppressed people in your community? What would it cost you?
[i] In general, you are privileged if you are: white, male, heterosexual, middle-class or higher, educated/upwardly-mobile, able-bodied, and/or physically attractive. (Note: this is not an exhaustive list.) Also, you are privileged if you don’t see that some people in our society are privileged and others are not. Blindness to privilege is privilege.
[ii] This short list of “rights” is by no means exhaustive.
[iii] Suggested reading on power dynamics in the Church: Soong-Chan Rah, Many Colors: Cultural Intelligence for a Changing Church; Joseph Barndt, Understanding and Dismantling Racism: The 21st Century Challenge to White America; Korie Edwards, The Elusive Dream: The Power of Race in Interracial Churches
Christena,
This is a great post. I hope this doesn’t distract from the purpose of your post, but I really see you as outlining what the posture of leadership in the church should be. All leaders, in whatever community, have priviledge by must not claim it as a right or expectation to be heard, but must always use that priviledge to lift others up.
Thanks again. Geoff
Agreed! Leadership/influence is another form of privilege. Thanks for adding that important point, Geoff!
This is really good, really challenging stuff. As a graduate of a state university, I just want you to know I’m feeling really oppressed by you right now. But seriously- this puts into words something I’ve been trying to articulate (mostly to myself) for a while. Thanks.
Ha! Well, at least you get to display your bumper sticker!
Excellent post, Christina. You may be interested to know of an immersion run by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Hawaii every summer called “Ho’olohe Pono” (Hawaiian for listen justly/rightly). Participants are led into a variety of experiences of listening to the Native Hawaiian community, and trained in the value of listening in cross-cultural situations. More info is at http://www.intervarsityhawaii.org/hoolohe-pono.html
I work for InterVarsity’s national multimedia team, twentyonehundred productions–we produced a short documentary about the immersion with our Multiethnic Ministries department that you may be interested in: https://vimeo.com/32536030
This is such a great resource, Glenn. I’ll be sure to pass it along to interested people. Thanks for sharing!
Oh yeah…there’s also a “listening and discussion guide” available for the video at http://mem.intervarsity.org/mem/resources/ho%E2%80%98olohe-pono-listening-god-community
Dear Christina:
I love the post. I think where it gets difficult is that as you intimate in your intro, many of us share positions of privilege and of oppression. Even people who come from privilege have experienced trauma and brokenness. If you’ve experienced hurt and pain, it can be a bitter pill if you find yourself being accused of being privileged.
That said, I recognize how I am largely a person of privilege. Recognizing my privilege should allow me to give more to others, be more open and be less tight fisted. Conversely, recognizing my brokenness should allow me to be more empathetic towards all people.
When I think of Philippians 2:5-8, it means that as someone who wants to follow Jesus I need to give up my rights both as someone who has experienced privilege and as someone who has experienced hurt.
The challenge for me is to recognize all the ways I am privileged. The thing about privilege is as you say, we tend not to think about it. We just take it for granted.
Thanks for joining the conversation, Darren. I agree that we’re all challenged to recognize the ways that we’re privileged. It’s hard work but definitely worth it!
Great post.
As a person of privilege, one of the most challenging parts of my own journey has been thinking through where I have been privileged in my own life.
I can imagine a Harvard grad bristling at this: “it’s the small price he pays for the privilege of attending such a prestigious school.” It takes hard work to get into Harvard, and even harder work to graduate. Such a sentence may seem to discount all that hard work, and to imply that they were handed their Harvard education on a silver platter.
We can acknowledge the hard work and sacrifice it take to get into a place like Harvard (or get a certain job, or advanced degree, etc.) while still recognizing the privilege that makes such an opportunity possible. A stable family life makes it easier to focus on your studies, and not everyone has that advantage. Parents and/or extended family that can help pay for tutors, test prep, etc. make it possible to qualify for such a prestigious school, and not everyone has that advantage. The neighborhood you live in, the school you go to, the kind of childcare your family can afford, the education level of your parents, the kind of BREAKFAST you eat in the morning (especially in the early child development years…) all these things and more add up to privilege that I think most privileged people have never considered being a part of how they got to Harvard.
This doesn’t discount the hard work you put in to get through Harvard. But it should level the playing field. The guy next door who went to state school may have had to work just as hard — or harder — to get his degree as you did to get yours. Just because state school would’ve been a breeze for you doesn’t mean it was for him. We make the mistake of judging other people based on the effort it would’ve taken us to do the same thing they did. I think that’s a big mistake, and hobbles a lot of conversations between people of different areas of privilege.
You make such an important point and I’m grateful that you brought it up. You’re right, we have to acknowledge both hard work and privilege. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Thanks for joining the conversation, Willie. Also, I love the work you’re doing with Native ministry. So powerful!
I heard a minister say “once you walk through that door, we are all equal”. God sees us equal. If someone of privilege or title walks through the church door I am tempted to turn on my lowly servant role and try not to offend. And some relish that. But I’ve come to realize its wrong. That’s what I observed growing up. It will continue in some spheres but now I can readily recognize it.
I hear you, Darlene! It’s so hard to recognize and relinquish the biases that are ingrained in society. I’m glad that God helps us with that task! Thanks for sharing!
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